How Do We Tell the Kids? With Breta Collins, Marriage & Family Therapist

For some parents, the prospect of telling their children about the decision to divorce can be among the most difficult parts of the process. What do we tell them? How much do we tell them? Are there things we shouldn’t say? Do we talk to them together or individually? How do we discuss this in a way that is developmentally appropriate for our children? With so many questions where does one even begin?

In this episode, your host and guide, Attorney Leigh Sellers, sits down with Marriage and Family Therapist Breta Collins. Breta works primarily with couples struggling through separation and divorce, so she is often faced with the challenge of helping couples talk to their children about their decision to separate or divorce. Because every family is unique, Breta utilizes evidenced-based, client-centered strategies and techniques to help clients through the process. You can connect with Breta at or at 704.533.0061.   Click here to call Touchstone Family Law now!   Key insights from the episode:

4:14 – When telling the children, this important factor can increase resiliency, coping, and prevent further damage, anxiety, and depression.

5:35 – Divorce is hardest on children at this age

6:29 – Why “staying together for the kids” isn’t necessarily the right move

7:22 – The best time of day to have the talk (and the worst)

8:24 – Why it’s important to tell siblings together

13:55 – Things you should and shouldn’t tell your children about your separation and divorce

16:41 – Why showing emotion when you tell your children can be a good thing

20:21 – Signals your children are having difficulty adjusting to your separation and divorce

21:39 – Why you should wait at least one year to introduce your children to a new boyfriend or girlfriend

23:44 – The importance of both parents remaining actively involved in the everyday lives of the children

24:18 – Why you should never talk bad about the other parent in front of the children

24:54 – Tips for effective communication when you just aren’t ready to talk to your ex

27:45 – Resources for couples going through separation and divorce

  Ready to discuss your child custody situation now? Call 704-936-0062 to speak with an experienced Touchstone Family Law attorney today.    ***   The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team (NC & SC) at

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *